The stage at Hot Metal Shorts! The 10-Minute Musicals, July 30, 2022
Once upon a time, I put together a 3D puzzle of a rocket that glowed in the dark. When we took the rocket into a dark closet to see the glow, we noticed missing pieces! The gaps had to be filled for the full effect!
Revising “Unravel” felt like piecing together a 3D puzzle. Here and there were missing blocks that needed to be filled.
After the first draft of book, lyrics, and music, the creators of “Unravel” received great feedback from the members of the Musical Theatre Artists of Pittsburgh (MTAP); Jeanne Drennan, executive director of MTAP and producer of Hot Metal Shorts; Maureen McGranaghan, dramaturg; and Rob James, director and property designer of Hot Metal Shorts.
Here are 5 pieces of the puzzle that had to be filled:
Unravel: This term appeared as the title and in STARR’s last monologue just before her last song about the vaccine she invented that unravels the cold virus. To round off the 10-minute piece, someone suggested it should appear at the beginning of the musical, too. This made perfect sense as a metaphor for STARR herself who feels like she’s unraveling when she’s taken out of the lab (her comfort zone) and onto a public TV stage. Her “arc” is where she gets a hold of herself, no longer unraveling.
It’s about the work: To change up the chorus in this song, it was suggested that we vary the last two lines:
OK, SURE WHATEVER BILL, YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A JERK.
UGH FINE BE QUIET BILL, I HATE HIS LITTLE SMIRK
UH-HUNH, YES, WE GET IT BILL, YOUR LYING’S NOT A QUIRK
YIKES, STOP TALKING BILL, YOU ARE DRIVING US BESERK.
How HOST opens the show: I tend to go straight for “tension” so when the TV magazine show opens, STARR’s humility butts right up against the HOST’s assumptions. The dramaturg looked at what the HOST would do to open the TV show. The HOST would look for a way to first hook her audience. I agreed, and changed her opening lines.
Arc of other characters: We fixed STARR’s arc and MOM’s arc was already well-rounded. I neglected to see how BILL and HOST needed to be introduced into the show and how their full arcs would play out. So another tool I added to my revision process is to re-analyze the arc of each character separately.
Boosting the comedy: A final suggestion came from the director once the musical was in rehearsal. BILL needed more to fit in with his pompous personality. His self-introduction could be more over the top than already provided. I agreed. So we gave him a full name: “I’m William James Robert Theodore Burnt-Thistle the Third” This attitude works particularly well when juxtaposed against STARR’s personality: “Starr—you can just call me Starr.”
